Thursday, 27 March 2008

Navel Gazing

The silence has been deliberate. Since the last post I have been doing a lot of sewing/crafting but I will not be spoiling surprises, because I know Painted Fish Studio is a reader and I suspect the other is a lurker. So when I know that they the items I made have been received, I will post photos here and on flickr. Until then you can all be that proverbial cat.

So madly sewing has been one reason for the silence but the main reason has been to do with navel gazing. Smoothpebble, posted a thought provoking post here about secret dreams. The thing is my dream to be a conference translator was an ambition before I met S. I really need to live in Japan for a few years working for a Japanese firm in the area I want to specialise in for that to happen. S and Japan are like the square peg and round hole scenario. Plus lawyer's working hours are ridiculous and finally I do not like how children of mixed Japanese heritage are referred to as haafu (half). It implies something is missing. That and S banging on about wanting to work in London, not that it is a bad thing but it is his dream, not mine; meant that some resentment set in. Nagging followed and I started to feel a little low about my behaviour. Easter also saw some homesickness. And the ear thing didn't help either, virtually no hearing meant that I spent most of the week closeted at home (never a good thing). Nobody needs to listen to a pity party so I didn't share the worst of it here. But thanks Jen and Donnie for helping out.

Last night really pulled me out of the hole I had put myself into. Good friends from our Brisbane days came to dinner. My first dinner party since just before CT was born and it felt like old times again. It was though we had said our goodbyes the day before. But I had not seen the hubby since December '06 and the wife since Jan '06. It was so good for the soul. I felt like a new woman. So the translating door closed but what fantastic doors opened. So I will have my fantasy dreams when there is the grrr factor...

I will leave you gratuitous photos of CT and Bend the Rules Sewing. S can really surprise me sometimes. He saw her bias tutorial and decided I needed her book, which I have been seriously hankering after since I discovered crafting blog land late August/early September last. It must be good because after it was thieved off the dining room table (man I really need to watch what I leave within go-go gadget reach... at the same time the goal posts can change dramatically in a day.... now that is a post in itself...) she slid it in her hand as she cruised the house from one end to the other. Seeing that she doesn't tear up normal books anymore (she wants to turn the pages in her big girl books), I let her go for it. She also has a secret squirrel sixth sense about me taking pictures (check out flickr) because I couldn't catch her actually pouring over the pages. I have nurtured a book-a-holic which warms my heart. The leaf doesn't fall far from the tree.
Angry Chicken Love

Nite all

1 comment:

painted fish studio said...

i wish i could be there to give you a hug! i was wallowing in my own hormonal madness last week and weekend -- i hope i was some help to you as i was in a big hole myself. i really admire your ability to keep your chin up in a strange country, as i would be a wreck!

hang onto your dreams, though. have many. and some day they may come to fruition. (that's the worst way to write what i'm trying to say, but brain won't help me today).

and little CT, stealing mommy's book and reading like a big girl. oh, she's so sweet. and kudos to S for knowing it's something you'd love!

why must singapore be so far away? if you moved to london, it'd be easier for me to see you in person. :)